The customer says the internet is dropping. The ISP says everything looks fine on their end.
ClumsyLinkWatch runs continuously in the background, and when the link goes down it doesn't
just log "outage" — it works out whose fault it was and keeps the receipts.
Probe ladder
Five checks in order, cheapest and closest first: adapter, gateway, ISP first hop, DNS, and a quorum of 3+ independent internet anchors. Confirmation retries before anything is declared down — a single dropped packet, which ISPs routinely rate-limit, proves nothing.
Fault classification
Adapter/gateway faults are yours. Last-mile, DNS, and upstream faults are the ISP's. Degraded means up but unusable. Host sleep is never counted as downtime, ever — a laptop that sleeps for nine hours doesn't get reported as a nine-hour outage.
Evidence reports
Export HTML or PDF with a plain-English methodology paragraph, an ISP-attributable outage table, a day-by-day timeline, and an appendix listing every excluded event and why — nothing hidden, because hiding data looks worse than showing it.
Live dashboard
A status card that reads at a glance, per-rung latency, a real-time timeline strip with hover detail and Live/24h/7d/30d zoom, a 14-day latency trend chart, and the last full traceroute — every rung run every cycle for full evidence, not just wherever the ladder gave up.
Alerts that don't spam
Native desktop notifications and taskbar flashing for real faults — not for DEGRADED or sleep, which don't deserve the same urgency. Optional webhook alerts to Discord or Slack the moment something opens or closes.
Hardware aware
Detects a Starlink dish on the LAN, lists network adapters for dual-WAN setups, and checks for captive portals or DNS hijacking — the kind of interception that can make a broken connection look perfectly healthy.
Scheduled speed tests
Run automatically on a schedule you pick, with full history and a day/time heatmap that flags recurring slow windows on its own — the difference between "it feels slow sometimes" and "it's 40% slower every weeknight at 8pm."
